All of us have people who have influenced us throughout our lives. For me, Cecelia was one of those people. Although we worked for different companies, Cecelia and I worked on the same government contract. We worked in a large office building that was broken up into rooms with multiple offices in each room. Cecelia’s office door was right next to mine.
When I met her, Cecelia was in her late-50s. Something about her attracted me as soon as I met her. She was an attractive woman and carried herself with just the right balance of humility and self-confidence. I knew immediately she was something special.
As time went on, I got to know her a bit. As it happened, Cecelia was going through a tough patch. Her husband had been diagnosed with Leukemia and was currently in remission. As I got to know her, I learned this was her second marriage. Her first marriage had been abusive and riddled with dysfunction due to her ex-husband’s misuse of alcohol. She had two children and had to navigate a difficult divorce and find a way to support herself and her kids. A few years later, she met her second husband, the love of her life. He not only fell deeply in love with Cecelia, but he fell in love with her young children as well. They had a wonderful marriage until Leukemia came knocking at their door. They took on the battle together and stayed strong in the war.
Sadly, about six months after I met her, Cecelia told me her husband’s Leukemia had returned. He chose not to tell her about it for a couple of months because he did not want to go through the treatment regimen again. It was difficult for all of us in the office, knowing the pain she was going through and knowing there was nothing we could do to help her. As I watched her, day in and day out, I was amazed at her strength. She was honest and transparent, taking on each challenge as it came her way, one day at a time.
Cecelia’s husband passed away a couple months later.
And then, a few months later, the company she worked for had some financial problems. The result being everyone in the company lost all their retirement in the company’s retirement fund. It was quite a bit for Cecelia, and it was the only money she had saved. So here she was in her late-50s with zero retirement money and having to start over. Again, she was handed a severe blow and handled it with grace and integrity. I wondered how she kept it all together.
About a year later, I had the opportunity to have lunch with Cecelia. Little did I know this conversation would change my life and how I handled the many changes that would soon be coming my way. I had no idea my life would blow up, but the words of wisdom she gave me helped me tremendously and will continue to help me for the rest of my life.
I asked her how she kept it all together with all she had been through. This is what she told me.
Cecelia told me to imagine a storage unit out in a very remote location. It’s not easy to get to, but it is definitely accessible. The storage unit is not only locked, but it has a fence around it. I was the only one that had the keys to enter. Again, it is accessible but not easily accessible.
I unlock the gate and walk to the door when I get to the unit. And then, I unlock the door and step inside. Inside I find boxes of all shapes and sizes, carefully stacked and neatly organized, each labeled with a life event. Some call it baggage, but Cecelia called it boxes. It’s the same thing.
This is where we keep the details and painful memories of the difficult things we’ve dealt with throughout our life. It is important to note, this is the stuff we’ve dealt with, not the stuff we are currently dealing with. Some of the boxes are small, and some are quite large, but all are strong, sturdy, and able to contain the complete contents of each event.
If we peek inside, we will remember the event well, the details, and how much it hurt. These boxes may contain feelings we had when we dealt with the loss of a loved one, the loss of a friendship, or the loss of a job. They may contain things that somebody did to us or even things we did to ourselves or others. The boxes contain our past.
The point is, the shed is a place to put all the bad stuff we have had to deal with, so we don’t drag it around with us. Once a box is stored in the shed, it stays there. It is a safe place to put our stuff, so it doesn’t bog us down and keep us from living our lives.
Cecelia moved to another state long ago, but her words have never left me. I built my imaginary shed, as she suggested, and it has served me very well. I’ve found that sometimes I go to the shed and peek into one of those boxes for some reason or another. It may be because something triggers a memory, or perhaps I think there may be something inside one of those boxes that could help someone else. I pull the box down, open it up, and often cry while looking through the contents. The contents never change, but I’ve learned that sometimes the memories have faded a bit.
When I’m done, I gently repack the box and leave it in the shed where I found it, behind the locked fence and door, only accessible to me when I choose to unlock it.
So here’s my message.
The more life we live, the more difficult situations and events we have to deal with, or boxes, as Cecelia would call them. I can’t tell you how many people I have met that get the packing right but leave the boxes in the middle of their living room floors. They seem to deal with the event, but they can’t seem to move it out of their way. Somehow their box becomes such a part of their identity that they never seem to move it out to the storage shed so they can live a happy, healthy life.
My challenge for you is to build your shed and move your boxes. The things you have been through are not your identity. They will, however, keep you from being all you can be, which is much more than your story of hurt.
Wishing you joy and peace,
Lorrie
Proverbs 24:3-4 – By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.